Poor communication kills off many relationships. When people stop sharing, stop talking about things important to them, it damages intimacy. Communication is actually a form of intimacy. Bad communication is often the culprit to end relationships.
If bad communication was a cause of your relationship ending, take heart. There are some things you can do to get your ex back. Basically, you need to show that you’ve learned and that you can be a good listener and a good communicator.
Being a good communicator isn’t hard. One way to begin is to call your ex and open up to them. Tell them how not being with them makes you feel. Tell them what it feels like to you in your heart to be without them. Be open and vulnerable. This can open up their heart to you.
The next thing to practice to get your ex back is to be a good listener. One way to do this is to ask them questions about how they feel, and get them to open up to you. You might say something like how do you feel about how I treated you?
There are many ways to be a good listener. One is to be quiet and listen. So let them take all the time they need to think about your question and formulate up and answer. Don’t fill the empty space with empty chatter.
Then focus on making your ex feel heard and understood as they open up and talk to you. As they talk, say things like “I’m hearing you, go on, continue, I follow you…” Making your ex feel heard and understood, really listened to, can be vital to getting them back.
Another listening skill is to not argue or defend yourself. Let them vent. Don’t interrupt, don’t justify, don’t try to explain you really didn’t mean it. All of that will shut your ex down. All of that will prove that you are not good at communication, which is a perception you are trying to reverse. Just listen til they are done then apologize after they are finished.
There’s more to it, but just these few pointers are a great start. If your ex feels you are becoming a good listener, they may see you in a new light. This can open up their heart and make room for them to reconsider being with you.
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